My - not exactly politically correct - translation of Shakespeare's famous sonnet 18

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? (Sonnet 18)

William Shakespeare, 1564 – 1616

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? – You’re hot

Thou art more lovely and more temperate. – You’re hot, but not overly so. More like a nice warmish spring day. Maybe somewhere in Queensland. Hot, but nice

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, – Babe, you shake your booty like nuthin’ else

And summer’s lease hath all too short a date. – Actually, you’re not really as young as you look

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, – Hmmm, maybe I should put my glasses on

And often is his gold complexion dimmed; – I can’t see very well in this harsh light

And every fair from fair sometime declines, – Yup, just put my glasses on

By chance, or nature’s changing course, untrimmed; – You’re wearing a lot of makeup

But thy eternal summer shall not fade, – Maybe you should have worn sunscreen more often, but hey, you’re wearing a lot of makeup now which is doing a great job

Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st, – You may be a cougar, but you know how to shake it

Nor shall death brag thou wand’rest in his shade, – How old are you?

When in eternal lines to Time thou grow’st. – Oh… that old. I wouldn’t have picked it

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, – But I have eyes in my head and I’m not dead

So long lives this, and this gives life to thee. – And neither are you – yet - so might as well have some fun while there’s still time!

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