Is sex in a romance novel filling young minds with unrealistic approaches to love?
In my understanding of the nature of a romance novel, the characters do not just jump into long term
relationships at the start of the novel. There is much soul-searching, much change, angst and anxiety, as
well as the discovery of happiness, joy and, of course finding the type of love that will last a life time, or at least provide a ‘Happily For Now.’ It is a journey of discovery, an exploration of life’s lessons and
challenges and an understanding of what constitutes a lifetime of love.
Romance novels are written by the mature of mind, with an in depth understanding of how people feel
and think and react, and of course what they want and ultimately do not want in a partner. What motivates people and what is able to change them.
Situations are difficult when they run to the emotional. In my mind, it’s quite easy to stop an international drug cartel, requiring little to no emotional sacrifice, but try to keep your hands off your hot boss on that travel trip and you’re in for all sorts of trouble! Seriously though, examining the emotional things in life are the hardest to do. So hard, in fact, that some people refuse to do it!
The most important things in life are emotional. Your husband/wife/partner. Family. Children.
Aunts/Uncles/Cousins. Friends. Every one of these people have an emotional attachment to you and they will reflect in your life as you struggle through it. I’m sure everyone knows of an overpowering mother who wants her daughter to marry the boy next door she only thinks of as a brother, when she’s really attracted to her father’s new boss. Then sparks start to fly, and when they do, people have to react. And change. And grow. That’s the way life is. That’s when readers can learn what it might be like if they were ever in that situation themselves.
Romance books are an exploration about life. They are there for the reader to discover something about
themselves and to explore, in a safe environment, what life is all about. They save time and grief reading in the safety and comfort of your own home, rather than living the real life version which may let you end up with VD. I’d much rather my daughter to have her first ‘paper’ boyfriend, rather than the real life version. She can do that right up until the age of thirty. LOL.
In romance novels, women explore what type of man they really want, and not to settle for the rest. The
longest running argument is that romance novels gives woman an unrealistic expectation about love.
(which probably stems from the comments of an insecure man anyway and they’d never be the hero in
any romance novel.) Maybe if more men read romance novels, they’d learn what women really want! No
more ‘Woman are from Venus, Men are from Mars’. The answer is there on book shelves in retail outlets
throughout the world.
Romance novels also give a reader a chance to explore the sex they’ve never had, yet to experience, or
have been too shy to talk about. Romance books come in a range of heat level. It’s up to the reader to
choose what they feel comfortable with. This is another thing I’d rather my daughter explore in the safety of her own home, rather than leaving it up to the real-life versions of teenage boys. Realistic romance novels shows how boys/men will treat a woman they like/love. Girls learn what to expect and when there’s any shoddy treatment from the real life version, they also know what to do. Walk away, because those boys are just not worth their self-esteem to be battered.
Romance novels are an ideal way for people to experience, learn, grow and life in situations they may or
may never come up against. They can range from pure fantasy to whisk you away for a little while, to real and gritty for a more realistic exploration of life.