How to spot a Bogan in the wild
The typical Bogan has a style of clothing that is unique to this colourful and loud section of Aussie culture. The clothing worn is timeless, and apart from skirts that cover only the buttock region of the female of the species, both sexes tend to wear the same garments and have done for the past four to five decades.
No-one knows why this phenomena occurs, as fashions come and go by season for the rest of the human culture, the Bogan clings to their preferred comfortable articles. The only logical reason for the Bogan to wear garments for such an extensive length of time is for purely economic reasons. The Bogan prefers instead to spend their money on Cigarettes — commonly known as ‘Ciggies’ — and Alcohol —also known as ‘Booze’ or ‘Piss’ — for social weekend events.
The Bogan is actually quite easy to locate, even in the busiest of shopping centres. The first sign of identification is the hairstyle. There are two common styles for the male and the female. The female can be spotted usually by the two-tone colour effect brought about with extensive use of bleach or peroxide and the darker ‘stripe’ of the natural hair colour, usually darker colour down the centre of the head. The stripe can be anything from one centimetre to quite the substantial width of a hand span.
The male of the species is defined by the singular style known as the ‘Mullet’. This highly distinctive style is comprised of longer hair down the back of the head to shoulder length or even longer, and cropped short to the front end of the head, usually around the ear to forehead region. Commonly this is termed ‘Party at the back, Business at the front’.
The next trait to look for is the lack of teeth and dental hygiene. Most Bogans have some, if not most, of their teeth missing. They commonly think that obtaining a mouthgard and drawing teeth in the front with a permanent marker to be consistent with a visit to a dentist. Furthermore, lack of teeth is humorous to the Bogan and they quite proudly display their bare gums. Little is known about this unique mannerism, but it seems that lack of teeth has something to do with their social standing. The less one has teeth, the more senior they progress in their society.
The Bogan is known to be frugal with their money (also known as being a ‘Tight-Arse’ within the culture) and the less spent on their outer appearance, the more they gain in social standing. They are usually jean clad in tight and/or acid wash jeans. This item of clothing came into mainstream fashion in the nineteen eighties, but seems to have remained popular within the Bogan Culture and still stand today. Both the male and female of the species wear these garments, maybe because they are able to be bought very cheaply. It is thought perhaps that jeans are handed down from parent to child as a rite of passage from childhood to adulthood. Once donned, the acid-wash jeans mark the adolescent as an adult.
Checked flannelette shirts are worn over T-shirts proudly displaying as assortment of skulls or rock and roll bands. It is thought that because the shirts can be bought for approximately five dollars at Big W, they fulfil the Bogan’s need to be frugal as well as choosing long-wearing.
The Bogan has an array of accessories that complete their ensemble of which body piercings seem to be important. These piercings adorn the body and are applied to ears, noses, eyebrows, lips, noses, nipples, belly-buttons and the very popular genital area, which, when asked, the Bogan is very proud to display.
The female make up consists of black eyeliner heavily applied beneath the lid, as well as black, chipped nail polish. It is of interest to note here that both male and female of the species adorn their bodies with an array of tattoos. These consist of the names of various sexual partners (these are applied to areas of the skin that can be added over time as the Bogan is known to have a variety of partners), children’s names, faces, their love of their mother or their ideal rock and roll band. These tattoos are thought to be a part of the Bogan mating ritual, in the hope that the more tattoos that mark the skin, the more appealing they are to the opposite sex.
At this stage it is worth mentioning footwear. Although the Bogan tends to go barefoot, despite the coldest of winters, there are two main type of foot covering. The first is the Aussie thong. Not to be confused with the American version of the undergarment type thong, these articles are slid onto the feet without a need for laces or claspings, reducing the need to bend to secure shoes onto the foot, thus saving time. Thongs are worn with a variety of clothing, from jeans, to leggings to tight denim skirts favoured by females.
The other items of show is the ‘Ug Boot’, or the common sheepskin house slipper. These items are thought to offer the Bogan a comfortable walk to down the street when they visit the ‘Bottle-O’ (the place where they secure alcohol), or when the female picks their children up from their daily schooling. It is thought that the Bogan prefers to choose footwear items that are interchangeable with both their inside and outside activities.
Hopefully this little tongue in cheek humorous snippet about Bogan life in Australia gives you a flash of insight into this unique part of Australian culture. My latest contemporary romance, Bogan Chick is nearly ready to be released. The date is yet to be finalised. Although I’ve called my heroine a Bogan in my book, she’s not really as bad as the idea portrayed in this blog, however she does have a hard time recognising herself when she’s transformed into a stunning beauty by Drake’s personal image team.